I Love Her but My Strength is Gone

my mother, who died of cancer in 1975. That was handled ... it wasn't handled. It was appalling, looking back. I want to learn to do better

It's not happening to me. I have to be strong. Fuck. Those were the only words I heard on how to deal with my mother dying when I was 13:

be strong.

I'm 51 now and my strength is gone. K said that---everyone expects her to magically be well. She's been so strong. 

How long can you be strong? With so much against you?  Now cancer, metastisized.

how long can you be strong?


when can you reject the gauntlet and let fucked-up humans or nature or gods take its course?

help her, please

help me help her

give me the right/wright/write words to say